It is especially hard since i am a very affectionate and loving person my 3 year old son is very affectionate and is always hugging and kissing me? It started off with biting and scratching and now she is hitting me. Which just doesnt help at all! I felt like a true bond wasnt there. Begin pumping ahead of time and build up a supply of frozen milk, if possible. She is also my miracle child since I have a problem to conceive. Baby swim classes, where the parent is with the child in water (if the baby likes it, of course) is a wonderful way to have fun together, for example.). Most times I doubt she even knows that I am her mother. My mom watches her while I work, and she seems to be more attached to my mom. When he was 4-6 mos, a friend was holding him and he didnt want to come back to me when I asked for him. bottomline she just wanted my husband.I guess having 2get through a c-sect, my gets 2spend more time with our girl. Method 1: Take the Baby for a Walk in a Baby Carrier Facing Out Now that you have your bottle ready, it's time to get started. I feel like a failure when it comes to being a mom. Pace yourself, with paced feeding. when were alone its great but as soon as he sees her he acts like thats his mom. I feel like she doesnt need me at all, she doesnt care if i am around or not, when her dad comes to see her she gets happy and he only comes once a week and sometimes he wont come for 2 weeks!!! Especially living in India just because the Home Office is not convinced I?m married and have a son. I even think sometimes grandma secretly enjoys doing this to me. Not a good feeling. Things will get better. I hope you've enjoyed today's post! First of all STOP acting bad towards your daughter. it really was beautiful. Trying to raise a 1 year old is impossible. Step 1: Bring the nipple (no bottle attached) to the baby's mouth and rub it along the baby's gums and inner cheeks, allowing the baby to get used to the feeling and texture of the nipple. Toddler Milestones. My daughter doesnt cry when she is with me but she just doesnt want to cuddle or be close. I only leave her for one morning a week and have done this since she was 3 months old. (My step-sons mom also went crazy during their separation. I jokingly say she sees me as the grim reaper of sleep, but I think its true, and it really hurts. I hear a lot of guilt in what you write. My 9 month old baby seems to get attached to everyone and any one. She rather suck her thumb than sucking the bottle. One explanation to why your daughters reaction is so strong might be that 9 months is a sensitive age. Just feel depressed that my 11-month-old does not want me and prefers my mom all the time its my fault.. due to certain unavoidable circumstances I had to leave her with my parents in my home country for 5 months, and now I am reunited with her (at 10 months)..its been a month with her now.. Ive been trying to bring her around to like me.. she does like me, I spend quite some time with her. My daughter is now almost 10 months old and cries even when I walk by. Take care of yourself during this time. I try to be a good mum, I stay at home and try to take her out every day to do new things, I play with her and sing her songs. Six weeks is the average length of time needed for a mom to recover after giving birth. If we know why this is happening maybe we can change it! A stock image of a woman waving goodbye to her son and a small child. In fact its more mummy than daddy, and my husband is a little bit jealous of this. staying there in the dark place is whats a shame. Try feeding in a close and cuddled up position. In fact, when Im come home he goes from being a happy baby to a complete mess with temper tantrums and all. Shes the most amazing thing in the world. she enjoys talking to him on a phone. my in-laws dun understand wen i tells them. In most cases, mothers return to work as soon as their child is about 5-6 years old. Does anyone have any success stories in terms of their baby eventually being more bonded to them? Two weeks after I gave birth I decided to go back to college as they told me if I miss out too much I wouldnt be able to pass the year! A 1 year old will not do anything very differently the next time anyway. I feel like a bad mom. I want to tell you: this will pass. and I'll see you tonight! You can do it. So they want to carried around the clock, wont play by themselves, cant be handed over to anyone else but mom or possibly dad without screaming like there was no tomorrow. I am also the sole breadwinner in my family. I do everything to make her happy and when she is alone with me she is happy but the moment she sees her grandparents or father she forgets me and rejects me. I play with, love and nurture my 17 month old boy but he doesnt seem to care about me. its hard to be a parent but it is very important. But now my loving daugher has became a real little terror. And when he wakes up at night he always looks for his dad and when I want to hold him he pushes my hands away. At this, understanding and accepting a no simply is beyond her. Its the school holidays now and its like even though im spending more time with him, there are times he prefers his grandma. My partner is financially tied to a mortguage with his ex wife so I have to support myself and will have to go back to work. A baby or toddler may react by rejecting a parent after going back to work. Try to sit back and be proud of yourself! Parental separation anxiety is normal, especially when going back to work after maternity leave. My son is 9 months old and , Ive always taken care of him feed, everything he needs Ive been by his side since we left the hospital, now that I moved to another state he doesnt call me momma anymore he calls it to his grandma he just doesnt seem to need me anymore . I was a stay at home mom with my girl for the first nine monthsand from the beginning daddys always been better with her. Thank you so much for your reply. I sing endless versions of Wheels on the Bus, and a million other things. I breastfeed her and I handle 98% of all care for her. And Im 14!! I am not working and its just because of her that i am not working. My mother in law lives in my basement suite and looks after my son 2 days a week, my mom looks after him 1 day a week. And you know what? Over the 2 years I have been in a terrible custody battle and its still going on right now. Can a baby NOT like their mom? Im a stay at home mom so Im with her everyday. My partner goes away and when I am on my own we have a perfect routine and daddy comes home, she hits me and pushes me away. It breaks my heart and I consider just leaving her. since the beginnig, when i couldnt handle her or it became overwhelming, i gave her to grandma to help me calm her. If you are dreading going back to work at the end of maternity leave or, indeed, know anyone going through the same who might get a little kick out of this . And since then, everytimes she sees my friend, she follows her instead of me. This just isnt what I envisioned my relationship with my daughter to be, I want her to want me, but dont understand why she doesnt. Maybe worth trying for you too? Or maybe it is related still not your fault. She goes to everyone and she does not seem to miss me if i am not around. Lessons to Learn From the Above Quote. I cant help having my heart broken. The more you as her mom can help her both with attachment as a young toddler, but as a child growing more aware of her history, the emotions and questions it raises, the more you can help your daughter grow up as a happy, confident child. Please hang in there mommies and daddies. They might have some preference at 1 point or the other, bt just continue loving them and they wd return it back eventually. I kind of gave up trying to figure it out, and just really tried to just remain bright and happy and easy going. Im a 26 yr old dad. There are a few things you should have on your list during the discussion: I have been struggling with the same thing for the last two weeks. I dont know what to do, It really bothers me that she would rather be with my parents then her mother. What i am trying to say is dont u think that his granddad is trying his god damn hardest to take my farther figure away & take my bond away. Please think long and hard before you do so, and before you delude yourself into thinking that leaving the baby with someone other than you for extended periods is no big deal. Every experience is different, but generally, it takes around six weeks to feel relief from most postpartum symptoms after having a baby. Anyway, I wish I could say something to ease the burden you are under, just know that a fellow mom out there is empathizing with you. If she can crawl, chasing each other might be fun. Your baby will not feel abandoned by you when you return to work. Whereas, with her, he SCREAMS. While maternity leave policies last 8-12 weeks, that would mean that at just 2-3 months in, new moms are returning to work with potentially undiagnosed postpartum anxiety or depression and may not know it. But they have become my competitors And I start having bad feeling towards them. Not an easy task as my parents DID love me conditionally. I want my baby to love me as much as I love her, but I understand I cant force that. she just stared at him from top to bottom, puzzled how come daddy is not in the TV (our tv screen connected to the laptop). But again, to keep you in their minds even when youre not there, both recordings and video conversations might be good. And it is very easy to feel rejected when it happens. My wife dismisses my concerns so Im looking for the reassurance online. I understand so much the pain you are going through. My partner is the light of his life. But my 14month old is obsessed with his dad and it totally kills me. She should be proud to have raised such a loving mom. Can someone give me a lil advice to help me. Ever. By preparing during maternity leave, you can feel more empowered in your choice and ensure a smooth transition for you and your baby. If your wife would show photos with you holding your girls and let the songs play at bedtime, for example, it could be a warm way for them to keep you in mind while you are not around. Try to let her keep it any way you can (but not on the phone for such a little girl). Some moms return to work just a few weeks after having a baby, while others take up to a year (or longer) of maternity leave. So once him and I began dating his daughters mother began using the daughter as leverage to get things in return for him to spend time with his daughter. Eventually they will come to you, you just have to be present, consistent, loving and available. Its just that when my husband and i decided to start trying for another baby i quickly had changed my mind and decided i wasnt ready yet and that i was content with it just being me, my husband, and our first son, but it was too late and when i decided to not try anymore i already conceived. Thank you for letting us know that things got better, it has made all the difference to me. She even slapped me in the face. I am a social worker and therefore I know all about attachment patterns and I just cant work this one out. Offensively taken, it means that im not a good mother!? (It has absolutely NOTHING to do with how much you love your daughter; that was an insensitive and completely incorrect comment by your dad!). With more time spent doing other things (or doing nothing), you are more likely to be able to stay calm, be patient and so one when she is putting up a fight. Because thats what is happening! Yes, I believe he should be happy, but I stop him from doing things that will lead to undesired future habits and behaviors. And when I get her home she ignores me. Please dont give up. She still prefers other people and doesnt seem to care for any of her own kin.not even her sister or brother, uncles, etc. She adores me but her daddy not so much. He also loves his father and grandmother. Anyway, he will be one in a week or so and Im happy to say that things are back to normal and this seems like a distant memory. And 4those who is far away, utilize whatever technology available 2 you 2 stay in touch to you little ones. When you feel rejected, she will sense your reactions and you end up in vicious circle of guilt, sadness, rejection, and more sadness and guilt. I then take her home and just when she starts to be happy with me, my husband comes home and I am nothing. She is breastfed but dh has been been Do you think itll pass? I am 7 months pregnant again and am terrified that I will cling to this baby in a way to have the bond I dont have with my daughter. I totally understand that you are thinking about another job, and maybe that isnt such a bad idea over time But until then or if you choose not to, there are a few things you can do. Feed your milk to your baby. Thanks. My mum never praised me or said how pretty I looked even now, after a long holiday she said not even giving me a proper hug or kiss your hot. At least I say to my baby boy that I love him that am proud of him. Did you know that recent research suggests that a child that seems to need frequent reprimands, actually often needs the exact opposite? So youve done great job. baby rejecting mom after going back to work Sigh. My baby boy is 6 moths and I know he prefers dad. Cafemom wanted a detailed truth about returning to work after having a baby. A massage, a warm bath, movie night with your partner: a little downtime goes a long way. Then she goes back to not wanting me at all the next day. Our job is then to not take it personally, not reinforce it by showing strong emotions, but simply allow our children to for some reason need one parent more than the other from time to time, It is painful, but it is normal development. Heartbreaking! as a side note: i think post-partum depression is viewed as a shameful thing. I had to return to work recently (4 days a week) and daddy is at home more and takes my son to nursery and picks him up. Hang in there! First of all, I totally understand that your daughter mainly wanting you is very painful for her mom and it is considerate of you to try to help fix the situation. Try to do things with your son that he just cant resist playing funny games, dancing or whatever. Is that true? Help?? I KNOW your baby loves you. Chances are that he will start to listen and co-operate much better if you have more fun together. They simply need this period of increased closeness to gain new courage. And like all husbands out there, mine too, asks me not to take it personally. As you say, youre the one who has been there for her all her life and still is in many ways, and now youre suddenly gone much more. And with every shared experience and every bit of advice I felt more and more comfort.Thank you so much for making me feel better, restoring my faith in myself as a mom. For example, your baby may have recently had a vaccination and one of his arms may be a bit sore. Any idiot can get pregnant but being a loving mother is something entirely different. We started day care 2-3x a week and yesterday I picked him up expecting him to smile and be happy to see me but he just looked away. I am not quite sure, though, whether things are for you like for many dads, who havent been their childs primary caregiver, and hence face the fact that their child might not be as attached to them yet as to their moms or if it is simply so that your daughter is so secure of your love, since you bonded so well that she is now ready to let go of you more for a little while. 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